Equal rights to be miserable November 5, 2009

I just don’t get why gay marriage doesn’t pass. I know many married and divorced people. Yeah, a few are really happy but even they have significant challenges. The rest were/are miserable, so much so that they cheat on their spouse. So why not let gays have the same rights to be miserable? I mean, wouldn’t that be a great “revenge” or “punishment” for such a “sinful” lifestyle? Is it about the whole parenting issue? Because, I have to say my straight mother did far more damage on my psyche than my gay dad!

 

Here’s another reason for passing the law. We are in an economic slump. To get married, you have to pay for a license. To get divorced, you have to pay court fees. Both are good for our governmental coiffers. The process of marriage and divorce supports a TON of business. Don’t think for an instant those boys don’t throw one hell of a party and when it’s to celebrate their love, oh please! There are some dollars being spent! Martha Stewart has NOTHING on them. Then, in a few years, the divorce lawyers who rake in the dough turn around and contribute to the local economy. Isn’t it in our best captialistic interest to let everyone have the equal right to misery?…oops, I meant marriage.

You are your thoughts November 3, 2009

In a recent, rather bizarre chain of events, I realized I had manifested some pretty strange energy around me. For the past week, I have been very conscious and deliberate about my thoughts. Tonight, I opened the book to a section speaking on just this topic. The reading reminds us the goal is to be the nothingness between the thoughts. I challenged the students to a little different thought, “be love”. Then, playing off my favorite Sufi expression, God is love, lover, and beloved” (thought I like the play on the word with be/loved a la Bob Marley)). It is easy to imagine lover- the passion, sensuality, desire that comes along with the experience. As beloved, we are reminded the annoyances we experience in others is a reflection of our own character flaws. In order to love and be loved, we must love and respect our self first. Then finally, we look at how we become love. In the space between breaths, in the flowing movement of the body, in the silence of meditation, can we radiate love? This has been a challenge, so I think of what is pure. Puppies and kittens playing or licking your hand, a child’s laughter, the smell of earth after a rain, a sunset, the moon rising, sunrise after surviving a long, lonely night, the smile of a stranger, the embrace of a friend. It all comes down to moments of no expectations, but of just being present and experiencing it.

As you move through your day, be aware of your thoughts. I want to be love, laughter, healthy, happy, compassionate, caring, joyful, strong…okay, and really financially stable. I shall practice what I preach and when we meet on the mat, in the coffee shop, on the street, lets compare thoughts and spread the love.

Manifest Destiny October 26, 2009

Successful people do not let others determine the quality of their lives. Now, certainly and obviously, there are millions of people around the world who do not get to choose their destiny. I am not speaking for anyone other than right here in the good ol’ US of A. If you want more, be more. If you want nothing, do nothing. Very simple equation.We need to define what success means to us- is it financial wealth, a loving and supportive family, spiritual enlightenment, some combination of the above? And why is that your definition of success?

I experienced a woman who was very obviously jealous of me recently. This was a perplexing thing to me because she really has no idea of sacrafices made to reach my current levels of success which at the moment simply includes graduating with a master’s degree and seeing a year of hard work in the community begin to bear fruits for the community. She complains that she does not get the recognition she deserves and yet, never once since I have known her as she completed any tasks.  Recognition is a tricky thing; yes, it’s nice to hear thank you but what happens when no one is there to say thank you? Isn’t it enough to know you did the best you could? Martyrdom is not pretty nor endearing.

I try hard to remember that we can never fully know what is happening in someone’s life that causes then to act/react in a certain way. It is a constant goal for me to look beyond the ego and see the essence/light in a person. That is not always easy, especially when the other is acting like a spoiled brat. As my frustration rises, I try to remember, perhaps this person is holding a mirror to something within me that completely recognizes this attitude. It checks my emotions real quick.

Ilya Prigione, a Nobel Prize winning physicist,  said we grow in direct proportion to the amount of chaos we can sustain and dissipate. In other words, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Success is a measuring stick of our growth. So what is the definition of your success and why? How will you measure it? And what is the cost?

the humor of syncrinicity October 17, 2009

I just shared with a dear friend and mentor this morning that I needed to re-establish balance in my life and manifesting the life I want. My email dings with my trusty horoscope (this this is strangely accurate, so I do pay attention) and it says:
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 22)
After walking the razor’s edge with a precarious financial or professional situation, this week should bring you your first taste of freedom. You are likely to be having important conversations with partners this week, marking the sign of times to come over the next couple of years. Over the coming months work on exploring your aspirations and creating consciously the kind of life you have always dreamed and hoped for. There is no need to fear judgment for your unique ideas; they hold a great big, beautiful message of hope. Your gift to this world is your ability to dare to dream, so be bold and honest as you share your vision. You can have the support you need, if you can find the courage to believe in yourself first.

Hmmmm…perhaps the Universe and I are finally in synch. Now, if I can just get “home” without any more catastrophes!

home sweet home October 16, 2009

It is good to be in the US of A! I am at an undisclosed location for a few days to ground and readjust to our country before heading into the chaos of my life. I definitely return a different person from when I left. It’s hard to pinpoint at the moment. I just know things are definitely different. I keep thinking of the power of thoughts and where intuition and the power of thoughts mingle to a place or complete confusion. If your gut tells you one thing and the thoughts follow, does that make it so? Or can you “think” your way out of gut instinct. I had a gut feeling this trip would be at best challenging and arrival home would be worse. It has been accurate, but I wonder if I manifested that particular destiny? I keep thinking of song called, “Falling or Flying” in which she sings, “Things aren’t bad but things ain’t right”. Well, we’ll see, no?

So long, farwell…. October 14, 2009

It’s just about time to head stateside. I am so very ready. Went out with a couple of the girls on last minute shopping stuff. It is a week before Dwali festival starts, so the stalls are colorful and festive and there are expontentially more kids on the streets hawking stuff. Tons of people out and I almost lost toes and legs by rickshaw, taxi’s, and motorcycles more than a few times. But, certainly braver than I was 5 weeks ago and can navigate these very odd, crowded, no named streets. I learned much from the courageous (or insane depending on perspective) people and how they just know where they are going and somehow it all works.

Bags are packed (sans computer and toothbrush) and now just waiting, waiting. So incredibly tired of the sound of horns, the sting of pollution in my lungs, rice, and the crowds. Home soon!

How Tall is an Elephant? October 13, 2009

The first day, we river rafted. Lham and I got in first. Actually, the guide put Lham and I in back. I imagine because we’re girls. Mike and the representative from the travel agency got in next..Up from, Gil and German(One of classmates that most of us know doesn’t listen and is actually pretty dangerous because of that). We received fairly brief instructions on the shore about paddle commands and were encouraged to practice while standing there. A few of us did and the rest should have watched and followed us. We get in the boat and did a “practice” in which it was CLEAR German had not listened. I began repeating instructions in my broken Spanish, which helped some but he was about 3 beats behind the rest of us, not what you want. After about 10 minutes on the river, the guide looked at me and said, “You go to front”. The guide then stopped us all- in the middle of the river-to give yet another lesson! Then he switched German and I and continued the lesson. I realized that disaster was an extremely probably in this group. German sat behind me, the travel dude in back on my side, Gil and I in the lead. We made it, but it was TOUGH! Four of us (Gil, Lham, the guide, and I) did all the work. Two days later and I am still sore. I asked at the end if it were a Class 1-2 river and surprisingly, he said 3-4! We did have waves that went up and over us at times, but the were brief and we kept doing our best to continue paddling. Its tough when the front of the boat is in the air and there’s nothing but air to connect with!!

We made it to Chitwan National Park. It is in the jungle. The first night was rough because our electricity was spotty at best, couldn’t sleep with windows open and had to keep the mosquito coil burning all night. Cough. Cough. The next morning, we did a 4KM canoe (made out of the local trees and reminded me of the pictures from grade school of what the Native Americans used) to “nature watch”. The canoe drops down till the top is only about 1” above the water and we start out. Maybe 5 minutes in, we see a crocodile! No shit. Digi freaks. Not only does she not know how to swim and has no life vest, she is the quintessential city girl! “Sssshhhhhh! And don’t rock the boat!” we tell her in a  loud whisper. We survive that only to learn we’re going on a nature walk/hike. WTF? At what point will people start telling us this shit ahead of time?! I am in my damn flip flops again. We learn lots about poop and plants while trekking through the jungle. I used my Jedi mind control to forget there are snakes, leeches, and ticks out here and I am so very much not protected against any. I almost lost my flip flop in the mud that sank me to my ankles. Thank God for yoga toes! We were introduced to a plant that is a mimosa cousin. You touch it’s leaves and they slowly fold up (almost like the swimmer’s in an Ethel Merman movie one at a time diving into the pool) for about 10 minutes as a protection mechanism, but I swear it looks like a shy, blushing young girl being touched by a boy she’s smitten with. Lham says the common name is “Touch Me Not”. Sounded perfect to me. We have a “scare”- rhino sighting. I still don’t believe it was a rhino, but the group is truly 50-50 on that opinion. I think it was a good show and I’ll tell you why in a minute.

We make it through, dripping in sweat, muddy, and more than a little cranky for a few of us. And there’s the elephants. Bittersweet for me. This is the birthing center and all the adults are chained by the ankle. That gets me. I hate that. Some “dance”, one kicked her leg and then used her trunk to try to get the chain off, but clearly, none liked it! The babies, however, roam free. Twins- probably the first elephant twins- were born here 8 months ago. Both boys and very cute. We watched all the babies play and one came right up to us to be fed. I gave it chocolate and he liked that. He sought me out after that. My camera still has some proof of him searching with his trunk for more chocolate.

We returned to change clothes and walked to the river for elephant bathing. This was, honest to God, the coolest moment of my life. The guide asked who wanted to go and I promptly raised my hand. Some of the elephants were already in the river. He asked if I knew how to swim and I said yes. Nawang, our trip coordinator from Class 1 and I went out. We got right up on the elephant with a little help. It was, after all, as tall as me, no taller, while laying on his stomach! The trainer kept telling me to scoot forward and then I was on the elephants neck, legs wrapped behind his very heavy ears, petting his eyebrows. The command was given and we were showered. That elephant took in as much water as he could in his spout and threw it all over us. We scooted back a little and then the elephant stood. Elephants standing is a lot like an old, fat person standing; it happens in a waddling fashion. Elephants are enormous. Meaning, it’s like sitting in the Chinese splits as this huge waddling thing struggles to rise a couple stories about the earth! We held on but I was unfortunately holding its collar and shouldn’t have so we got dumped into the river. Boom! Just like that. We got up again. This time with Nawang in front and the fool held the collar. Boom. Into the water we went. I’d had enough for a minute so I focused on bathing the elephants. The original one I had been on was 32 and the first one I bathed was 35. They’re bristly, HUGE, and patient. I bathed a few and rode another.  I played in the water with them and laughed and laughed and laughed. It was so much fun!!

We returned for lunch and the had a long time before the safari, so I ended up sleeping. Woke to rain. Torrential downpour would be more appropriate. It delayed the safari by 45 minutes and I almost didn’t go. My raincoat is red and you have to wear jungle colors. I had on all black and Alex lent me a broken umbrella. It worked. Four of us said on top of a platform strapped to our elephant, Margolis and walked around. We saw deer, wild boar, and a baby rhino. I didn’t take my camera because of the rain, so I have no photos. There was a beautiful sunset. The elephants went through a river, mud puddle, thick brush. It was crazy sometimes going up and down hills. I am sore today from the bar of the platform hitting my chest repeatedly for an hour. Feels like a bruise but I don’t see anything. It wasn’t as cool as bathing the elephants but was a unique experience.

The elephant safari

Just showered by elephant

Bathing elephant

Graduation Pictures October 10, 2009

Graduation photos: before, during and after!

 

Graduation and the day after October 9, 2009

Graduation was held at “The Kings Forest”. We had two professors present, the Dean and President of the school, along with some “VIP’s” from Nepal. We processed to bagpipes. That was nice. There’s only 4 bagpipes in Nepal and we got the two from the police. Kinda significant for the end of the night. The Dean prayed, the Prez spoke then each of us gave a 4 min speech (which you read mine), got “hooded”, and then we were handed our diploma. At the end of my speech, I shared that there was one person who has believed in me to be great even when others did not and then I said, “Happy Birthday, Dad”. We had a meet and greet, and then dinner. Afterward on the way back to the hotel, still raining, our bus had no windshield wipers or lights so they had to go about 20 mph, with the hazards the sole source of lights (meanwhile, there is a loud “BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!” inside the bus each time they flash. We almost hit the 3′ tall center, cement divider. Then we were pulled over by the police. The driver’s license was confescated even as the bagpiper tried to talk sense into the cop. We made it back safely to the hotel only to have to pack for a 7 am departure. We spend 4 hours on a bus on the BUMPIEST road I have been on since Nepal to go see an aromatherapy and bio brick making cooperative. Did I mention it was raining? So Digi and I missed the part about a 30 minute walk and we both had on flip flops. About 10 minutes from the first place our driver and another truck tried to pass on two narrow of a spot and they connected up at the top because they were leaning towards each other. We managed to all get off and then had to walk the rest of the way. The walk was uphill on molded mud (ie: SLIPPERY!). Everyone in the group fell at some point either going up or down except Digi and Lham who had many “near misses”. Yes, I took a BIG fall the apparently was airborne followed by some rolling. I pulled some muscles but nothing serious. Thinking it was just a simple overnight stay, I only took one pair of pants! Light tan. Oh, yeah. Fun times. Then onto the bus for 2 more hours ascent up a BUMPIER road. These are mountainous roads with switchback and the fools pass each other on the curves. Today we came, literally, centimeters from a head on collision. Tomorrow we leave for Chitwan and at the rate of past experiences, I am kinda scared to get in the raft for the river trip!

I have my Diploma October 8, 2009

Well, my friends, I have a diploma allowing me to now be Wendy Reese, M.A.! It was a small and short ceremony, but the 8 of us gave great speeches and we had a fun time with photos and dinner afterward. The monkey went to graduation and flew at the conclusion because we didn’t have hats to take off and throw in the air. I found a pink Hibiscus flower for my hair here in the gardens of the hotel. It was the “missing piece” of my cultural outfit I had to come up with. I’ll post pics when we get them uploaded in a few days. I did not take my camera, so I am relying on others. I know at least 3 videos were being shot, so there is proof of my completion. It’s late and I am guessing this is making no sense in my fatigue/post-adrenaline rush of accomplishing such an amazing feat (for me). Heading on the road for a few days. Peace!